Finally broke down and got new glasses.
I knew the old ones weren’t cutting it anymore. I’d often catch myself squinting at street signs and zooming in more and more on the computer screen. Whatever fancy-dancy coating they put on the lenses had gone rogue and made it impossible to clean them.
Of course I had a number of excuses for not addressing the situation sooner.
- I got those glasses at the optical department at our local Sears store. I was used to dealing with them and it was an easy drive–two important points for an introverted empath with a crappy sense of direction.
- Not only was the optical department no longer there, but Sears wasn’t there anymore, either. Just a boarded-up shell.
- I would have to find a new eye doctor/eyeglass place. (Decisions, decisions…)
- Once the new place was selected, I knew I’d have to do the “puff of air in each eye” thing, which I hate.
- The odds were pretty good they’d also dilate my eyes, causing me to recoil from any source of light for several hours.
The real reason?
I was being a whiny little bitch.
Once that was established, I found an eyeglass place and made an appointment.
Yes, they did the “puff of air in each eye” thing.
Yes, they dilated my eyes.
And I survived.
My wonderful husband drove me to the appointment just in case they did the dilation, so no worries there. And I was prepared. I brought my wrap-around super-dark sunglasses–the ones that make me look like a fugitive from the Blues Brothers. I fell in love with the fourth set of frames I tried on, so no problem there.
Holy guacamole, I REALLY needed those new glasses!
I couldn’t get over the difference. I could see street signs with no problem. I could see the clock in the living room all the way from the dining room! I returned my computer screen to its default setting and could read absolutely everything.
I also saw cobwebs in the corners of the ceilings I hadn’t noticed before, along with other things that needed to be adjusted/repaired/repainted. The excited glow from earlier faded, and I began to feel overwhelmed and inadequate.
Just as I was about to lose myself in the Temple of Self-Castigation I caught a flash of red out of the corner of my eye and went to look out the kitchen window.
A cardinal foraged below the backyard bird feeder. I could see him clearly, right down to his black mask. I could also see every detail of a teeny-tiny woodpecker hacking away at the suet feeder. A squirrel glanced up from the tray of sunflower seeds. I could actually see the beady little eyes he fixed directly on mine!
I stood at the widow for quite awhile, really seeing the various birdlings who swooped in for a nosh and loving every minute of it.
And the chores I’d noticed? They’ve got nothing to do with self-worth. We’ll get to them as we can, one at a time. We’ll have fun along the way, and feel a sense of accomplishment when they’re done.
Life is good.