I haven’t made New Year’s resolutions for longer than I care to think about.
Oh, I used to do it. Sometimes I’d write a list on a piece of paper which I would then slap up where it would stare me in the face on a regular basis. Invariably I’d get so used to that paper being around
that I didn’t really see it anymore, which usually coincided with my rapidly diminishing New Year’s fervor. By the end of February the list was nothing but a reminder of my abject failure, so it ended up in the circular file.
This year I tried something different.
The idea came to me when I discovered a video clip of “A Very Merry Unbirthday to You” from Disney’s Alice in Wonderland. After enjoying that short trip w-a-a-ay down memory lane I thought, “I could write up a list of New Year’s UNresolutions!” Contrary wench that I am, the thought of this opposite approach definitely attracted.
Since the western New Year had already been and gone, I decided to start on the Chinese New Year instead. Here’s what I came up with:
1. I hereby UNresolve to criticize, doubt and bad-mouth myself.
Would I ever inflect the kind of hatchet job I routinely do to me on anybody else? Of course not. Heck, when somebody I care about talks negatively about themselves, I’m the one who interrupts with, “Hey, watch it! You’re talking about a friend of mine!” I’ll encourage that person, applaud their efforts when they’re struggling, and celebrate their successes. And I would never, ever bad-mouth them.
Question: So why can’t I treat myself the same way?
Answer: I can, starting now.
And if my old self-destructive tapes starts playing, I’ll hit the “pause” button and summon my Inner Blanche:
2. I UNresolve to tell myself “it’s too late”, “I’m too old”, yadda-yadda-yadda.
Late blooming isn’t the same as not blooming at all. Besides, as mentioned earlier, I’m a contrary wench. Why should I parrot all those self-limiting mantras from earlier conditioning when I could be out there doing all that neat stuff instead?
3. I UNresolve to suffer in silence when my boundaries are disrespected.
After all, what’s the sense of having boundaries if I’m not going to enforce them?
A wonderful counselor who saw me through some really rough times told me that we teach people how to treat us by the behaviors we do and don’t accept. Words to live by!
Note to self: It’s not fair to expect people to know my boundaries via telepathy. It’s up to me to let them know.
4. I UNresolve to put off recharging my mental,physical and emotional batteries until I’m ready to collapse.
5. I UNresolve to let the things I love to do fall by the wayside because I’m so wrapped up in the daily grind.
For starters, I UNresolve to insist that all chores must be done before I sit down to write. I UNresolve to let workplace worries follow me home and color my mood. I UNresolve to feel like I should be doing something “responsible” instead of doing something silly once in awhile.
On that happy note, I’m off to watch my current UN-guilty pleasure on Netflix–“Lucifer”.
Be good to yourselves–you deserve it!
All animated photos courtesy of Giphy.
3 thoughts on “My New Year’s UNresolutions”
thanks, donna . . . really needed this today! feeling the darkness up here in sunless, chilly MN. ;-(
I love your whole list and am reminded of one I pulled together for a therapy session some years ago: a list of resoLOSEtions . . . behaviors/thoughts/patterns i intended to LOSE in the coming year, which mirrored much of what you’re UNresolving for 2019. great minds thinking alike, y’know. . . 😉
Off to follow #5 — shirking chores as a friend & I head for the budget theater to watch the Oscar-nominated documentary shorts from last year, which should be interesting.
wishing you the best, most self-respecting and -loving new year ever!
a midwestern fan,
xo, pam c.
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“Hey, watch it! You’re talking about a friend of mine!” – so *THAT’S* where I got that phrase!!
Also, I’m stealing your UNresolutions. ❤
Steal to your heart’s content! And may the Force be with you! 🙂