Not necessarily normal…

After a series of repeat occurrences I decided my grocery store puts Cheetos on the tippy-top shelf just to torment me. This Saturday was no exception.

My husband had wandered off to another part of the store so I was left in all my 4′ 11″ glory gazing up at the unattainable treats. As I asked myself just how badly did I really want those overpriced bags of cheese-flavored air I overheard two people further down the aisle talking about this winter’s latest slam-dunk on our area.

“Yeah, it sure was a doozy,” said one. “It’s been a real old-fashioned Ohio winter!”

“Look on the bright side,” the other replied. “Maybe that means the weather is finally getting back to normal.”

(My personal opinion: normal weather hopped on the autobahn a few years back and hasn’t been seen or heard from since, but far be it from me to spray primer gray all over somebody’s glimmer of hope.)

120 MPH Speed Limit at the Autobahn A 5 near Frankfurt. Michael Probst / AP

“Maybe people will get back to normal, too,” the first person continued.

“We can only hope!” the other responded.

For a moment I toyed with the idea of asking them exactly how they considered normal people to be. Before I could act on this (probably unwise) notion a familiar long arm reached over my head to snag two bags of Cheetos and drop them into the cart. “Here ya go, little lady.”

I looked way up at my considerably taller husband and sighed. “Thanks. Like I always say, if I was any shorter, I’d be foraging under mushrooms instead of pushing a shopping cart.”

Aw, shucks, honey!

“That’s what you’ve got me for.” He leaned way down to plant a comforting kiss on my forehead. “And remember, you’ll always tower below me.”

So what exactly is this thing called “normal”?

Normal is frequently defined as usual, regular, common, typical, accepted, average.

No discussion of abnormal is complete without Igor (Marty Feldman) from “Young Frankenstein.”

Abnormal, on the other hand, is described as not usual, regular, common, typical, accepted or average.

(Easy, right? Not to mention vague…)

In a nutshell: there’s no “exactly” when we’re talking about normal, especially when it’s applied to people. The term is disconcertingly malleable and depends on who’s setting the standards–often entities who are not affected by the standards themselves and/or stand to profit from inflicting those standards on people who choose to follow them.

The operative word here is “choose…”

Take care, all!